It’s the middle of the night. A light bump on your bed wakes you up. You’re startled for a brief moment as you see a shadowy little figure climbing on top of your bed. You’re still half-asleep as your little one snuggles his or her way into the sheets and the warmth of your body. You pause and think, what? My toddler not sleeping in her own bed? Then you figure all your toddler wants to do is feel safe and comfortable, and, what the heck, you’re too tired to get up and take your toddler back to bed anyway.
There’s nothing wrong with letting your toddler sleep in the middle every once in a while, but if if you find your toddler not sleeping in his or her own bed constantly, you might not want to let it continue for too long or it’ll become your toddler’s nightly habit. Experts disagree on possible negative long-term effects that can result from toddlers being much too dependent on their parents at bedtime, but two things are certain; every toddler develops at their own pace and only you as the parent can make the decision on how you want to treat this type of situation.
If you want to help your toddler fall out of the “let me sleep in the middle” routine, here are some suggestions:
1. Make an effort, no matter how drained you are, to comfort your toddler by letting them know they’re safe and take them back to their own room or bed. Keep comforting your toddler and let them know you’re going back to bed, and that they are to stay in theirs.
If your toddler resists, understand toddlers test their boundaries to see how far they can go. You must resist even if your toddler looks up at you with those hurt little cuter-than-puppy dog eyes! Repeat this process even if you have to do it a few times.
2. If the above tip does not work, put a comfortable, padded adult chair in your toddler’s room and use it everytime to stay in the room for a few minutes after you put your toddler back to sleep. This will help your toddler feel safe and it’ll make it easier for your toddler to fall back asleep. Don’t leave the room until your certain your toddler is in a deep sleep.
3. If the above does still does not work, even if this sounds a little drastic and cruel at first, consider installing a gate at your toddler’s door only if your bedroom is close enough to theirs where you could hear them in case of an emergency. Make absolutely certain your toddler’s room is child-proofed! This will establish a clear boundary, helping your toddler eventually to understand they need to stay in their own room and bed.
Whatever you do, don’t spank or discipline your toddler for wanting to feel safe and warm by climbing into your bed. This can have long-lasting negative effect on your kids and send them mixed messages as far as parental comfort is concerned.
Finally, you might have to go through a difficult transition period dealing with your toddler not sleeping in his or her own bed, but the work you put into it will pay off for all family members in the end. So go grab a nice little cup of tea tonight and sleep tight knowing you have all the information you need to be ready when your toddler tries to sneak in your bed at 3:00 A.M.!